Bald

On September 10 of 2011 I became a baldy.

Now I know what you're thinking. WHAT?? YOU'RE BALD NOW??

Hear me out.

When I would wash my hair it could just come out in my hands. About three days of doing this and shedding and just being completely hairy....

I had a shaving party. Stephanie and John Hruby came, Barbara and Mike Brand were there, my brothers Grant and Gunnar with their girlfriends Alyssa and Becca. And of course my Mother.

I had everyone, yes everyone, in that room help cut my hair down so that they could shave it. But after awhile all the women huddled in a corner and chatted while the men began to have, as my mother said, "Having way too much fun."

The men took over and began to shave my head.

Now most people wonder if I cried.

The answer is No.

I was so frustrated with my hair that I was smiling the entire time they were shaving my head.

Being bald has brought two things to my attention.

1. My head gets really cold now.

2. I finally look like one of my brothers... Cameron.

It's a strange thing to be called the odd one out of your family... and suddenly your family is telling you, you look like one of your brothers.

I've entered a world I never thought I'd ever enter.

The world of looking like one of your siblings.

No Place Like Home

It's been a long time since I last posted on my little blog. A lot of unfortunate things have happened and a lot of fun things has happened.

I was admitted to the hospital 16 days ago for uncontrollable throwing up and another detail I'll spare you guys. It was supposed to be just an over night stay. And it ended up being a 16 day long roller coaster ride that seemed to have no end.

But I've learned which nurses I absolutely love and ones that I will forever request to stay the heck away from me.

I had an Oncologist for the first week who as wonderful and very cheery. He was LDS and we really liked him. But he couldn't figure out what was wrong with my sodium levels. ((This was the main reason why I was admitted to the hospital. My Sodium levels were extremely low and I was in danger of seizures or brain damage.)) I complained about my stomach hurting, but he said that was from constantly throwing up. He said I possibly could have SIADH which is a hormone that the brain regulates. He tried with all his might to keep things under control. Which he managed to do... through dehydration and not being able to eat food. That was torture.

The second Oncologist was from the Dominican Republican and was very quiet. When I told him about my stomach problems and another thing ((I'll save the details)) he ordered a CT scan and about four o'clock in the morning that nurses came in with pamphlets and yellow gowns. I had an infection and people now had to wear gowns and gloves when they entered the room. It wasn't because they were going to infect me or I was going to infect them. It was for other cancer patients. I was in isolation. This doctor helped my sodium levels and helped figured out what was wrong with me. But he was the one that made me have up and downs. I wanted to go home, and he wouldn't let me. I was frustrated and sad. Until they moved me from the smallest room to the biggest room. That helped my spirits.

And then I got my primary Oncologist. I begged him to send me home, I was doing well and was happy. Everything was good. But he had returned from a conference and learned that if a cancer patient was right on schedule for their second chemotherapy, and if their tumors decrease a certain percentage... I wouldn't have to do Radiation.

So we waited a day and then I started Chemo.

Now through his whole ordeal I have never been text book cancer patient. I mean... obviously my life wasn't fun enough that I had to be normal patient. But nooo I had to be the head scratcher.

Usually cancer patients going through Chemotherapy have a really hard time eating and have a terrible time with nausea. But this time around, I probably had only about a few moments where I felt nausea but I had an appetite. I was eating during this whole thing. Which is... bizarre. So I have a feeling this round of chemotherapy is going to be nice. And hopefully they'll continue to be nice. And not be a pain in the butt like they have been.

So even if you seem down and everything isn't going the way it's planned. Know it's going to make you a stronger person even if you don't know it at the time. You might not be able to see it, but others will.

Annika Severts.

Surprise?

I was just visited by two Elders of the Liberty Ward to check up on me spontaneously.

They were very nice and polite.

They came to see the mormons on the hospital with a list of peoples names.

The bald man looked at his list of names and looked at me.

"You just had a baby right?"

Gunnar and I started to laugh.

"No no no!! I have Cancer. But thanks for making me laugh."

I corrected him quickly.

Oh man.

I love awkward moments.

Annika Severts.

The Love of A Brother

Many people know and love my brothers. People tend to say they love Gunnar.

In this case, Gunnar is not the star of this little updated post.

A picture was texted to me from my brother Grant.

It was his red soccer shoes and told me to read what he had written on them.

I could not read it so I asked him to text me what it was.

"Right foot says, 'Annika'. Left foot says 'Dad.' In soccer my left foot guides me, like Dad. My right foot is my strength, because you are strong. May be cheesy but it keeps me focused."

I cried.

I love my brothers.

Annika Severts

A Brief Phone Call

I'm in the fourth day of being in the hospital because of my sodium levels are dangerously low. Nothing has really helped and I've thrown up more this week than I ever really wanted to in the first place.

To be honest I'm pretty miserable but my family and friends keep me company through this rough time.

So far nothing really funny has happened in my hospital visit.

Nice things have happened like having the same people from my first chemotherapy session.

And having my legs and back rubbed by the adorable Becca. ((Gunnar's Girlfriend))

and all the popsicles I wanted. But no more. I'm being dehydrated again. Nnh. I hate it.

So the only thing really worth blogging about is a phone call from my hospital room today.

"Hello this is Annika."


It was an 59-65 year old woman by her voice.


"Who?"


"Annika Severts?"


"This isn't 333-3333 right?"


I don't remember the number she repeated back to me so I changed it.


"This is a hospital room."


"Is she in the hospital again?"


"I don't know. I'm a patient here."


"Oh hell. I'm so sorry for bothering you. They gave me this number as her cell phone. Sorry. Try to have a nice day."


"It's okay. Have a nice day too."

Thank you strange lady for calling me and making me smile and have something to blog about.

Annika Severts

T-Shirts.

I feel like this post won't be as clever as my other ones, or as amusing. But I'll try my best at it.

With Cancer Comes Great Responsibility!!

Or more like...

Time. Lots and lots of time.

But being sick with Flannery gives me time to reflect and think about random situations or things that I could entertain myself with.

For those who don't know, I have a tablet. Or in easier terms... a flat surface on which you can draw on with a stylist that leaves no mark on the surface but on a blank template on your computer. Or.. a tablet.

I've had my tablet for about a year now and it's been a joy and a stress. Stress because of the artist blocks you receive if you aren't inspired. (( which I'm currently in one now. )) and a joy because you can suddenly color and erase mistakes that would be a lot more obvious on paper. It's a nice little gadget.

Now me being all... artsy fartsy and what not. I often think about what I can do to make my little adventure more fun. I mean, I can't be wearing the same Bold Tigers t-shirt to every doctor visit that I attend. That's kinda gross. I mean.. it is gross.

So I began to think.
and Imagine.

And I already have two t-shirts I want to design with my little tablet.

1. A shirt that has Iron Man and Uncle Fester holding hands. Thus making a logical sense with my blog title and how I often refer to myself as their love child now.

2. A shirt that has Iron Man's port over my port. Or.. energy conservator fancy machinery that is in the middle of his chest.  Thus making logical sense of why I consistently call myself Iron Man. ( ( Who's movie which I received from my mother. Thank you. ))

And now to the shirt that I came up with while high on Ativan.

I had been recently disconnected with my friend Robbert (( the little machine that followed me everywhere who gave me my dosage of fluids and chemo. )) and had dressed to go home. At least... if memory serves me right. Ativan plus hospital stays tend to make your days mash a little together.

And I had an idea. A small witty idea that I shared with my Mother and brother Grant.

"You know those shirts that you get like from Niagara Falls that say; I went to Niagara Falls and I all I got was this T-shirt?"
My family members looked expectedly at me, knowing full well from previous days what I was like on Ativan.
"I went to the Oncologist and All I got was Cancer."

And thus the idea of a shirt was born. Is it inappropriate to create a shirt like that and wear it to my pediatrics cancer ward? Was it inappropriate when I sang 'Gory Gory what a hell of a way to die?' the answer to those questions is.
Yes.
It is highly inappropriate.
But I got to have my fun with it.

Now the final t-shirt story I have to tell does not come from my brain but from my brother Gunnar. Most people know and love Gunnar... and me being the closest to age still ponder about why so many people love him and why on earth he has a girlfriend.

Now skip to about 14-15 years ago when we were stationed in Hawaii. My birth place.
We were hiking up a volcano and I believe we were coming down.
And little Gunnar looked over the edge to see the long drop.
Now Gunnar as a child is like me on Ativan. We don't really think... we just zoom on with our thoughts whether they make sense or not.
He proceeded to tell my family.
"Whoa. Wouldn't want to lose me here."

My family thought that was hilarious. And I'm sure I did too at that age where I mimicked expressions and other useless baby actions.

So two christmases ago? Or one? When Gunnar was on his Mission to Peru, I made that shirt for him.
Now skip forward to about now. Probably around a week ago to where my mother was talking to him on the phone.
She started to laugh.

"Gunnar says he wants to wear his, "Woah. I wouldn't want to lose me here." shirt to the Oncologist office.

Severts family being highly inappropriate in certain situations but still wanting to do it anyways?
Accomplished.

So Gunnar. I expect you to be wearing that shirt one day to the Pediatrics Oncologist ward with me to get Chemo.
We may get funny looks, but hey.

What would we do without family and t-shirts?

Annika Severts