It’s weird to say that I’ll be graduating in exactly four months.
Do you know how scary that is for me?
I’ve lived in Idaho for 12 years. And so much has changed in my family.
Military campaigns, my brothers all of a sudden growing up, medical issues, death happened.
I’ve realized I’ve never had the chance to be a proper kid. I lost that privilege in 5th grade. And because I was never a kid I both lost friends and gained new ones. But it’s so scary for me.
Because I’ve always wished that I’d grow up one day. But I didn’t realize how quickly that came.
And now here I am, five months from being a legal adult and what am I doing?
I don’t have my act together at all. I try not to let the cold reality slip in for me to realize that I am an adult now that deals with adult things.
I have to start a career soon, go off on my own and discovery myself, make big life changing decisions of who to marry or what studies I want to persue.
And it’s incredibly terrifying.
I still feel like that young six grader who was ready to leave her world of elementary school for junior high but was reluctant. Because that was a big step.
And this one is even bigger.
But before I go off to college my mom and I agreed that I’d take a year off.
I’ll get my drivers license, pilot’s license, get physically fit for ROTC AirForce, and apply for USU.
I’ll read all the books I wanted to read, travel to all the places I’ve longed to see and the places my heart has always longed to go back to. I’ll finally make big decisions for myself and see how life treats me.
All I know is that in a year I’ll be a kid again for awhile. I’ll finally be the kid I’ve always hoped to be.
And I’m excited and scared at the same time.
